Monday, May 3, 2010

transition - inner shift

transition, mixed media collage, 3" x 3"

Transition...I feel it.

Things are changing, life is changing. My husband will be taking an early retirement and we will then move to the ocean, something we both look forward to. A new experience for me. He grew up near the ocean and loves the idea of returning. Me, I grew up 23 miles from where I now live and I really want to experience something new. I have always wanted to live near the ocean. This is my chance to do so.

Along with the transition comes some anxiety. I think part of it is the leaving. I have lived here in Monroe for over 30 years. I had my children here, raised them here. Moved here with my first husband, and now live here with my second husband. Most of my life has occurred here. It will be hard to leave. I am anxious to leave, that I know. But I am excited too. It's a mixed bag of emotions.

The other thing is that things are in limbo regarding WHEN hubby is actually retiring - he works for the government, and the political climate at the moment is not so he is thinking that retirement will come sooner than later. I would prefer sooner, as I have in my mind, already moved. Is that weird? I am already decorating my new home in my head. I am already walking on the beach anytime I want to. I am already cooking meals for my adult children when they come to visit. I am already planning trips north to see friends and the kids. I am already walking the boardwalk. I am ready to go.

I am ready to begin the next phase and it's all on hold. Transition on hold. Transition in limbo. Patience is not easy. I am being patient on the outside. Not so much on the inside!

1 comment:

Silke said...

Oh, do I know what you are speaking of, having moved several times during my life. And once the decision is made, it's like we have moved already. Last time, we moved from New Mexico to Savannah (also by the ocean!). We never thought we'd leave NM, but when we made the decision for Savannah, we were ready - anxious, but ready!

You'll see that it will all happen at the perfect time and when it does, it'll be a smooth transition. And afterwards, you'll find that you will have two homes instead of one...

Love, Silke