Thursday, May 13, 2010

there is an internal shift happening...

Lately I can't seem to get into my studio and paint or make a collage. I think I may be suffering from some burnout regarding my art making. I have made a lot of art over the past few years. There is a part of me that needs to just stop.

A part of it is that I want to make more personal art, more experimental art- not art for sale. But even as I wrote that last sentence, I was nodding my head NO...I just think I need to stop for a time, all together.

And the very interesting thing about all of this...I am unemployed. I have the time. I have complete freedom at this point in my life to do ANYTHING I choose to do. And lately, I am choosing to read, cook, knit, garden, bake. Homey things. Quiet things. Today I took a long walk around the lakes in our town. I then sat on a park bench and took a long sun bath while I listened to a book on tape. Then I took myself to the local diner and had a delicious cup of homemade green pea soup. Before that I cleaned out my refrigerator. After the walk I sat out on my deck under the umbrella and listened to more of my book on tape. Nothing about art. Noting about painting. Nothing about collage. And I had what I would describe as a delightful day.

Maybe being unemployed is part of it. For the last 20 years I have worked as a graphic designer and for the last 10 years I have also been painting, making collages and assemblages. I am TIRED. As much as I love art, it's been my profession for a long long time and I am simply tired.

I don't think I am suffering from some sort of depression. I don't think I am quitting painting. I need to take a vacation. Let it come back to be as it wants to come. I know if I try to force it, the art is terrible.

I love READING about painting. I love looking at other peoples painting and art blogs. I also enjoy reading about painting technique. Perhaps my well is empty and I need to fill it with looking, resting, seeing and enjoying art. But right now, I just don't feel like making art. I hereby give myself permission to go 'on sabbatical' for however time I need to take...and without guilt. I will once again paint paintings, collage and make assemblages. Just not right now.

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